Most good negotiators will suggest that you find common ground with the other party. This maybe a wise tactic and generally can work well. Yet, if you find this tactic being used on you, you might wish to have a strategy to make it very tough for the other person to find common ground. The best method I have found was to ask the other party; you seem to be trying to find common ground so that we can move forward in our negotiations, is that true? If they say no, they will generally touch their face, as itches occur when one it lying. If they touch their face tell them; I am a very good body language reader and you have just told me a lie, I find it hard to negotiate with someone I do not trust then touch your face like they did in an exaggerated way. If they say; Yes, we would like to find common ground then immediately go into what I call my Common Ground Speech. It is an old lawyer trick, which will really aggravate you if you hear it. It is the definitional rhetoric game and it goes something like this. Why are you so intent on having common ground when we are talking about this other issue? Why not define what ground is first so we can move ahead in an expeditious way. Is ground rocks, dirt, crust, volcanic ash? What about when such things are suspended in water, a superplume or air? Is a meteorite ground? It is once it hits? Is the moon ground? It is once you are there? Is an asteroid ground, could be, at what size is ground? You see the problem with this inane line of reasoning, going around defining everything? Then you never get anything done, but find common ground, what about common air? Are we going to sit here all night and talk about definitions? Or are we going to solve this problem? After all once you all agree on the whole of everything and all the definitions, then, well, your life experience is over and you accomplished squat. And dear sir, indeed, I had assumed that we were here to find a solution to this serious issue which is best for all concerned and especially overly beneficial to me. This wastes lots of time, wares down their patience and throws them off balance. Some would say this is wrong, but I would argue that when someone is lying to you in a negotiation, it serves them right. Negotiation is not tough really, it is a matter of recognizing a liar or lawyer when you see one. Think on that. |
